it looks to me that ms. mooon will kill me for writing this.
i love him.
fuck i do
and it's that kind of love that's something like being tabngled in a rose bush, throns digging into my skin but i can't let go for the love of life i can't ever fucking let go.

it's something like knowing i'm getting burned by the fire but stil keeping my hand there because i love it.
i loev the pain and pleasure of being with this perfect (in my eyes) being. i enjoy feeling his heart beat i ennjoy knowing that i want to be the only woman in his fucking life forever.
i'm in love
there's nothing else i can really say about the situation. if there was a chacne to love someone closer, someone who would probablu y not understand me but give me all the physical adoraation i haven't had with him, i'd reject them because they would never give me the emotional adoration i need.

maybe that's why i'm still following him like a sick puppy, maybe not. i just know i'm hurting and the last time i hurt like this, dylan was there to fix me up.
i just want to wait.
i have to.